I can't really tell what makes Stephen become a little different after I came back from New York. Feel a little different but still.
無庸置疑,我在乎他的感受.雖然我能然是做著自己的事情,他偶爾還是會冒出來.
上星期三,因為他的失約,我選擇留在家裡休息,沒有去Brazil跳舞.I told him that I was too tired to go. Anyway, we both know the reason that I am not going even though I didn't tell.
Last Friday, I invited Martina to my place for some coffee. We talked about my dance with Stephen, some interaction with him, and also the reason that I didn't go to Brazil on Wednesday. I sort of asking Martina whether she cares if Stephen and I went out. Her reponse was totally fine even it seemed not fine at all. She cares about him otherwise she would had let go.
Came back from NY on Tuesday, Hsin-I, Nitin, Stephen and I had dinner together on Wednesday. Well, something different in his mind. I know but what's that? Wednesday night, as usual, Brazil. Honestly, I was so happy that Hsin-I could make it. Talked with God Mother, I decided not to tell Martina anything about Stephen anymore. Things should only between us, me and Stephen.
Thursday, I was so tired after the long trip in New York. After Hsin-I's taking off. Slept until 3pm. still wondering whether I should go to the salsa class. My body moved automatically dressed up, walked out, and went to the class. The class was only fine to me 'cos I didn't feel the connection. It has been a while since I came back from NY. What's wrong?! Somehow, I know it's natural. We both are still "looking"
After class, he practiced with Martina. Me with Nitin. Nitin and he needed to go for meeting. I waited for Martina. She told me that she has to report me that they had potluck while I was in NY. She actully asked Stephen the reason that he couldn't pick me up on Wednesday as he promised. She told him that I am angry with his not picking me up.
I stunned. Hey, girl, mind your own business. Well, of course, I didn't tell her like this.
Somehow, obviously, I was not happy that she cross the line.
"it doesn't matter whether he is picking me up or not. i can always go by myself if i want. and that day, i choose not to go. that's my choice and it has nothing to do with whether he is picking me up".....anyway, it does matter and we all know. It's not necessary to tell.
I am not happy that she does the talk for me. I am the one who should and would communicate with the person I want to communicate. Especially to Stephen,I would talk to him directly. Things happen between Stephen and I should stay between us. If we need to communicate, we know how to talk with each other.
I was angry with her intentional control. I was worried about me and Stephen. Somehow, he has known that I am not happy. As for reason, he explains to her but not to me. SO? For me, I don't want to know the reason. I simply know that I was put in the second position. That's enough for my unsatisfication. The reason may be a good one but it doesn't change the truth that I was not taken care.
Also, I directly expressed my feeling or unsatisfication to Stephen.
Wednesday.
Talking about waiting and on time, I said..." Well, I am not going to waiting in the cold wind because I am on time." We both know what we are talking about.This is it.
